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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28829364">Ever Yours,</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zantedeschia/pseuds/Zantedeschia'>Zantedeschia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Letters Left Unsent [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - Robert Louis Stevenson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>"I bottle up my feelings then one day I'll die, -Jekyll, Angst, Canon Era, Canonical Character Death, Emotionally Repressed, Idiots in Love, Letters, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Pining, Post-Canon, TW // Mentions of Suicide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:20:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>800</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28829364</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zantedeschia/pseuds/Zantedeschia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>But, Death frees me of many things, including the expectations and the judging eyes of this cruel world. So I can finally tell you what has been contained in my heart ever since we met.</p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p>Dr. Jekyll's second letter.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Henry Jekyll/Gabriel John Utterson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Letters Left Unsent [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2127288</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ever Yours,</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Tw // mentions of suicide, it's not graphic but take care!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My Dearest, Gabriel</p>
<p>If you have come possession of this letter, then you have been enlightened of  my dangerous endeavors. After writing this, I shall now end my miserable existence. With a bullet in the head, I suppose, or maybe a rope around my neck, for I do not want to haunt you with my filthy blood staining the pristine white floors. You needn’t suffer from the folly of your friend. </p>
<p>At least, I hope you consider me a friend. As much as it pains me to think that the one I hold dearest to my heart only regards me as a close acquaintance, I wouldn’t be able to bear it if you never consider me at all.</p>
<p>My Utterson, I am deeply sorry for my coldness this past months, I was too absorbed in my research and my madness, as Laynon worded it, and now I see why. I see it so clearly now, my obsession, my insanity, my folly that I pushed everyone dear to me away. </p>
<p>Never think that I have forgotten about you, my dear, for I can never forget someone whose glow rivaled the sun, someone whose mere presence brightens up any room, someone whose eyes hold secrets deeper than the ocean, someone whose every move reminds me of an angel. I can never have forgotten the kindest and brightest person I have ever known.</p>
<p>It hurts, Gabe. It hurts, how you’re so uniquely and distinctly <i>you</i>, how you let your guard down around me and yet still shroud yourself in mystery. I can never truly read you, can I? Even after all these years, I can never quite comprehend the meaning of your little glances, the soft brush of your hands on mine, the playfully light tone that is only for me to hear. It hurts how everything you do makes me want to say the things I kept hidden and locked away for years, things that are frowned and disapproved of in our society.</p>
<p>But, Death frees me of many things, including the expectations and the judging eyes of this cruel world. So I can finally tell you what has been contained in my heart ever since we met.</p>
<p>I love you, my dear. I love you more than a friend, more than a brother. I love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch everything go wrong. I know you will recognize this line, Lemony Snicket, your favorite. Frankly, I would never consider reading their works if it wasn’t for your constant nagging. Do you ever consider the impact you had on my life? Do you ever notice my little glances containing this sentiment? I know I’m not a subtle man, my dear Gabriel, you know that too (In all honesty, you know me better than I know myself). </p>
<p>I wonder about your reaction when you read this. Do you only see a pitiful, broken man wallowing in pining and self-hatred? Or do you see another sinner, burdened by his wrongdoings that he killed himself? I never once dreamt of you reciprocating my feelings, but… do you? Do you love me too? Do you suffer the same pains as I do? Please, do not mourn for me, do not cry over this pathetic man. I don’t deserve your tears, I don’t deserve <i>you</i>, I never did. </p>
<p>I hate how I refer to you in this letter, “My Gabriel” “My dear”. It’s very possessive of me, because you were never mine. Never was and never will be. I will never be able to claim possession of your bright eyes, your soft lips, your warmth. I will never have the opportunity to gather you in my arms, whisper compliments and sweet nothings in your ear, see the faint blush spreading in your freckled cheeks, and run my hand through your soft brown locks. I will never be able to shout to the world that you belong to me and only me.</p>
<p>I am yours, my darling, even though you will never claim me. I belong to you. Always. Forever. Till time ends and the universe dies. Your Harry.</p>
<p>Ever yours, even in death,<br/>
Henry Jekyll</p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p>Gabriel blinked away the tears threatening to spill from his eyes, some of it slipping and staining the surface of the crinkled paper. He didn't need a clerk to note that this is <i>his</i> Harry's handwriting. The almost unreadable scrawl, the careful curl of 'y', the unmistakable wording. Everything about it screams "Henry Jekyll".</p>
<p>He looked outside the window, tear tracks in his cheeks. "We're both idiots aren't we?" He breathed out a bitter chuckle.</p>
<p>"<i>How cruel the hands of fate. To take two souls, too blind to see, and give them sight...</i>" he chocked back a sob. "<i>Too late....</i>"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Theatre references go brrrrr</p></blockquote></div></div>
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